words.names.faces: Archive

Jul 1st

Daily Haiku

I failed work today had some laughs along the way it worked out okay

Jul 1st

Daily Haiku

Hiked the first few steps Up the Carpenter Peak trail Then - Pizza and Beer!

Jun 30th

Mower Guilt Jar

First - the Mower Guilt jar might need a new name. Mower Remorse jar doesn’t feel right either, though. Anyhoo…I’m open to suggestions. I’ll put a dollar in the jar every time Mower fails to meet my expectations. I’ll take a dollar out when my actions damage Mower unecessarily. When the jar hits $650, me and my fisftul of cash are going straight to Depot for the...

Jun 29th

The Next Movie

Following “The Bucket List” with “Harold and Kumar,” and I’m not sure what that says about the night. As long as I don’t cry when Doogie steals the car, I guess I’m fine.

Jun 29th

Daily Haiku

Sitting on the couch A lump in my throat - crying Watching “Bucket List”

Jun 29th

Daily Haiku

Nothing beats working At nine on a Friday night When the wife goes out.

Jun 28th

Daily Haiku

ninety-nine problems hmm…and I can’t solve a one? what’s the clean version say?

Jun 28th

srsly? lol!

I’m taking my mother to a concert in the park tonight. We’re seeing “Hot Flash.” Why does no one see the humor in this?

Jun 26th

Daily Haiku

the June bills are paid green boxes in the spreadsheet turn red for July note: clearly not an exciting day

Jun 26th

Get Your Goose On?

Boss: I do think we need a ‘plan of attack’ for executing the cutover and for coverage. Let me know what your thoughts are on below – it’s a rough cut.
Me: One problem - We’re going to be pretty far into our beers by 5 when Yo can join us.
Yo: I’ll probably go ahead and start with the beer at 7:30 am so that I don’t fall behind
Boss: OK you drunks, unless there’s a constructive comment, I am sending this to the masses.
Me: Subjectively constructive comment - Yo, if you start with bloody mary’s before noon, you can count them as vegetable servings.
Boss: I am planning to get my goose on, with oj
Me: Do we get to call you Maurice, then? Note - I had to google “get your goose on.” I don’t normally spout Bronco references. 
Boss: I was very impressed until I read the 2nd sentence. Hell, I am still very impressed!

Jun 25th

Daily Haku

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah which syllables did you put the emphasis on?

Jun 25th

Free Mower

The dead (to me, at least) mower is in the driveway with a “free” sign on craigslist. It’s 8:09 - any guesses on how long it will be before someone takes it? UPDATE: You win if your guess was, “19 minutes.”

Jun 24th

Pirates take four European tourists hostage -... →

The wife never believes me when I tell her pirates still exist.

Jun 24th

Is this weird?

It’s getting to the point where I can only eat food in multiples of two. Six potato chips, four cherry sours, two sandwich halves, etc. I’m starting to worry about the next time I crave a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. What’s really got me going, though, is that this new compulsion doesn’t jibe with my need to lock the doors three times before I go to bed. Why would one thing need...

Jun 24th

Daily Haiku

grumble-gripe, god-damn in a mood, son of a bitch moan, moan - all alone

Jun 24th

Daily Haiku

My brand-new Craftsmen Is no Honda HRX Meh…maybe next time :(

Jun 23rd

Jun 22nd

Daily Haiku

Pork ribs , chicken breast Hand me one more Shiner Bock Coat the meat with sauce

Jun 22nd

Daily Haiku

I refuse to buy A front-propelled lawn-mower My yard’s not that flat

Jun 21st

Craigslist - Buy this now! →

you know you want them: One mower and one gas trimmer for $20? What’s the catch? Well, they’re like brothers, so I’d really like to get rid of them together. The mower (20” deck with ridiculously oversized rear-wheels) always started on the first pull until today when the pull-cord broke in half and whipped itself up into the little hole it comes out of. According to the...

Jun 21st

My Life as an LOL Cat

Enginz - I can’t fixes ‘em.

Jun 21st

Daily Haiku

again, note to self: when he wants your opinion, Boss will ask for it

Jun 20th

My life as an LOL Cat

Me to Boss: Feels like an lol cat moment, but - time, I doesn’t has it.

Boss: What the hell is an lol cat?

Jun 20th

My life as an LOL Cat

I can’t explain my love for LOL cats but can’t deny it either. So, a new feature similar to the Daily Haiku. A moment of my day through the eyes of an LOL captioner. Maybe I’ll mix in a cute kitten every now and then.

Jun 20th

Like a window to my soul →

Jun 19th

Daily Haiku

You’ve been in bed for Damn close to two hours now Close your eyes, and SLEEP!

Jun 19th

Daily Haiku

ugh. It always sucks the day after the day back from a vacation

Jun 18th

Wordle →

If only I had something interesting to say…

Jun 17th

Vacation Over

I fully meant to make a play on the feet picture to acknowledge vacation over day, but with dress shoes on linoleum. Then I realized there is no linoleum at work - just pergo and mauve carpet - and I was too disappointed to continue with the project.

Jun 17th